The information below was taken from Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends
and Influence People. I highly encourage anyone in a leadership position
(from the A1C to the Col) to read this book. Personnel, I have learned a
number of the principles the hard way and would of loved to find this book when
I started my career versus now.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arose in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and
most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Make the other person feel important--and do it sincerely.
Think of it this way, if people don't like
you they neither want to be like you nor will they listen to you.
Take a moment and look around you.... See what I mean?
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say,
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires
- Appeal to the nobler motives
- Dramatize your ideas
- Throw down a challenge.
Personally, I love a good argument
especially after finishing a couple of college class in
philosophy. Yet after reading this section and looking
back at difference situations, I see how I both lost some
important discussions. At the same time, I also now
understand why things became a heck of a lot easier.
Finally, looking back at PME, some of these fundamentals are a
part of the counseling approach.
Be A Leader
- Begin with praise an honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every
improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you
There are some interesting
approaches in this reflect a lot of human psychology of the
20th century. Although some of these principles read a
little interesting and more business than military, I feel
there is a lot of truth in them.