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How to Win Friends and Influence People

Author: Dale Carnegie'
Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People
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The information below was taken from Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. I highly encourage anyone in a leadership position (from the A1C to the Col) to read this book.  Personnel, I have learned a number of the principles the hard way and would of loved to find this book when I started my career versus now.

  -- Webmaster

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  3. Arose in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener.  Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important--and do it sincerely.

Think of it this way, if people don't like you they neither want to be like you nor will they listen to you.  Take a moment and look around you.... See what I mean?

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person's opinions.  Never say, "You're wrong."
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives
  11. Dramatize your ideas
  12. Throw down a challenge.

Personally, I love a good argument especially after finishing a couple of college class in philosophy.  Yet after reading this section and looking back at difference situations, I see how I both lost some important discussions.  At the same time, I also now understand why things became a heck of a lot easier.  Finally, looking back at PME, some of these fundamentals are a part of the counseling approach.

Be A Leader

  1. Begin with praise an honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.  Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"."
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement.  Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

There are some interesting approaches in this reflect a lot of human psychology of the 20th century.  Although some of these principles read a little interesting and more business than military, I feel there is a lot of truth in them.

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Page added on: 30 Jul  2008

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Revised: 04/29/08.